You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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