That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
