there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
