the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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