I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
