I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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