so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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