Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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