first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
