false alarm. still invincible.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
