apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
