Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
lets start a swedish sibling band together
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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