I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
