If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
