The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
