We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
