Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
