So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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