I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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