it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
