Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize