Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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