Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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