Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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