After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
