At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We were destined to go to rehab together
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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