i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
