Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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