did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
