Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
