You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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