hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
