If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
