I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
