you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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