nut hugger
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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