All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Drunk is not a location!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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