How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
