I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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