why didn't you poke me back
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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