Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
