so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
