it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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