Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
