my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
