I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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