Can i not drive my cunt home
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
