White coat. Heels.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
