I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
two words: eviction party
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
