she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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