If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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