will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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