Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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