I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize