I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
