Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
should my penis look like a turkey
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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