I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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