OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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