Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
